Speaking the Truth in Love

Ephesians 4:15 - but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.

What is mean to 'speak the truth in love?'

Often, in going through the gospel with someone, a way to shed light on a person and help them see they are a Christian is to ask them, "have you ever told a lie?" Everyone has told a lie at some point in their lives. Lies are told to make ourselves look better. It is to hid the truth. People often will justify a lie because of the belief that speaking the truth will hurt someone. This verse seems to contrast the notion of speaking a lie and instead states, "speak the truth in love."

Yet, how easy is or it or how do we even 'speak the truth in love?' Prior to getting married, there was a couple in our life that we wanted to come to our wedding. They were THE catalyst in bringing my wife and I together, but they were unwilling to come, citing their attachment to school. We could have flown them out just for the wedding and had them back the next day. We were willing to do whatever we could, but they were still unwilling. We had been in their wedding and we naturally wanted them to be involved in ours. We sought the Lord during this time and after it was laid on our heart, we tried to speak to them in love, confronting them with truth that we saw. It backfired and we ended up losing a relationship for many years.

I still think we did the write thing, but since then, it has been hard at times to speak the truth in love. Love is to be the prompt and reason communication is made. I think, at times, though, in raising kids I spoke to quickly. Sometimes in love, but sometimes in anger, I admit. I don't think I ever figured out how to discipline properly with love.

I think if Love would have been my motivator at all times then it would have (1) affected how I spoke the truth and (2) what truth was spoken. Therefore, some truth would have been left unspoken.

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

If love is what is driving us to speak to others, we will, first of all, be concerned about how we speak. We will seek to watch the words that we use as well as the attitudes, motives, and tones of voices with which we speak them. We will strive not to give offense by the way we speak the truth.