Behaviors

I recently attended a violence in the workplace training. The individual provided a couple lists of behaviors. One list 'punishing behaviors' and the other 'rewarding behaviors.' As I read through these items I was chagrined to see some that have been a part of my life and happy to see some that have been a part of life. I thought they worth noting here.

PUNISHING BEHAVIORS

• Monopolizing the conversation
• Interrupting
• Showing obvious disinterest
• Keeping a sour facial expression
• Withholding customary social cues such as greetings, nods, "uh-huh", and like
• Throwing verbal barbs at others
• Using nonverbal put-downs
• Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing others
• Speaking dogmatically; not respecting others' opinions
• Complaining or whining excessively
• Criticizing excessively; fault finding
• Demanding one's own way; refusing to negotiate or compromise
• Ridiculing others
• Patronizing or talking down to others
• Making others feel guilty
• Soliciting approval from others excessively
• Losing one's temper frequently or easily
• Playing "games" with people' manipulating or competing in subtle ways
• Throwing "gotcha's" at others; embarrassing or belittling others
• Telling lies; evading honest questions; refusing to level with others
• Overusing "should" language; punishing others with words
• Displaying frustration frequently
• Making aggressive demands of others
• Diverting conversation capriciously; breaking others' train of thought
• Disagreeing routinely
• Restating others' ideas for them
• Asking loaded or accusing questions
• Overusing "why" questions
• Breaking confidences; failing to keep important promises
• Flattering others insincerely
• Joking at inappropriate times
• Bragging; showing off; talking only about self

REWARDING BEHAVIORS

• Giving others chance to express view or share information
• Listening attentively; hearing other person out
• Sharing one's self with others; smiling; greeting others
• Giving positive nonverbal messages of acceptance and respect for others
• Praising and compliment others sincerely
• Expressing respect for values and opinion of others
• Giving suggestions constructively
• Compromising; negotiating; helping others succeed
• Talking positively and constructively
• Affirming feelings and needs of others
• Treating others as equals whenever possible
• Stating one's needs and desires honestly
• Delaying automatic reactions; not flying off the handle easily
• Leveling with others; sharing information and opinions openly and honestly
• Confronting others constructively on difficult issues
• Staying on the conversational topic until others have been heard
• Questioning others openly and honestly; asking straight-forward, nonloaded questions
• Keeping the confidence of others
• Giving one's word sparingly and keeping it
• Joking constructively and in good humor
• Expressing genuine interest in the other person