I recently attended a violence in the workplace training. The individual provided a couple lists of behaviors. One list 'punishing behaviors' and the other 'rewarding behaviors.' As I read through these items I was chagrined to see some that have been a part of my life and happy to see some that have been a part of life. I thought they worth noting here.
PUNISHING BEHAVIORS
- Monopolizing the conversation
- Interrupting
- Showing obvious disinterest
- Keeping a sour facial expression
- Withholding customary social cues such as greetings, nods, "uh-huh", and like
- Throwing verbal barbs at others
- Using nonverbal put-downs
- Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing others
- Speaking dogmatically; not respecting others' opinions
- Complaining or whining excessively
- Criticizing excessively; fault finding
- Demanding one's own way; refusing to negotiate or compromise
- Ridiculing others
- Patronizing or talking down to others
- Making others feel guilty
- Soliciting approval from others excessively
- Losing one's temper frequently or easily
- Playing "games" with people' manipulating or competing in subtle ways
- Throwing "gotcha's" at others; embarrassing or belittling others
- Telling lies; evading honest questions; refusing to level with others
- Overusing "should" language; punishing others with words
- Displaying frustration frequently
- Making aggressive demands of others
- Diverting conversation capriciously; breaking others' train of thought
- Disagreeing routinely
- Restating others' ideas for them
- Asking loaded or accusing questions
- Overusing "why" questions
- Breaking confidences; failing to keep important promises
- Flattering others insincerely
- Joking at inappropriate times
- Bragging; showing off; talking only about self
REWARDING BEHAVIORS
- Giving others chance to express view or share information
- Listening attentively; hearing other person out
- Sharing one's self with others; smiling; greeting others
- Giving positive nonverbal messages of acceptance and respect for others
- Praising and compliment others sincerely
- Expressing respect for values and opinion of others
- Giving suggestions constructively
- Compromising; negotiating; helping others succeed
- Talking positively and constructively
- Affirming feelings and needs of others
- Treating others as equals whenever possible
- Stating one's needs and desires honestly
- Delaying automatic reactions; not flying off the handle easily
- Leveling with others; sharing information and opinions openly and honestly
- Confronting others constructively on difficult issues
- Staying on the conversational topic until others have been heard
- Questioning others openly and honestly; asking straight-forward, nonloaded questions
- Keeping the confidence of others
- Giving one's word sparingly and keeping it
- Joking constructively and in good humor
- Expressing genuine interest in the other person
